so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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