i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
