y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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