So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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