we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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