I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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