For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
