why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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