glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
