For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
