And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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