Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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