I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
