its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
as a side note pls kill me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
