ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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