So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize