i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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