It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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