he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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