And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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