I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
