Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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