oh god the rape fog is back!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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