ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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