i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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