His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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