where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
