The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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