the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Little spoons don't ask big questions
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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