i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize