I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
