I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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