Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
