Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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