he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize