Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
