They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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