I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
