only if we run a train.
done.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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