hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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