Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
two words: eviction party
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
