Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
