So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
