Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
