So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
