i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
