I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
