i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
