Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
