I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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