After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
