Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
