You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
