ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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