I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
