i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
