conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
