What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
