Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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